(My
maiden name was Kathryn Hall, aka: Kathryn Warner)
May 30, 1999
Dear Pastor Ron Sutter,
My name is Tashi Smith, and I am a teacher in the Springfield School
District. I am writing to you on behalf of a close Christian friend who
used to attend your church, Ms. Kathryn Hall. I worked for Ms. Hall when
she was known as Mrs. Marty Warner. Ms. Hall is in need, and although I
understand you probably are not enthusiastic about getting involved in an ugly
situation, I am writing to you as a last resort for help. I ask that you
read this letter carefully with an open mind, and just pray God will reveal the
truth. Thank you for listening; this is information that you need to
know.
I became involved in the Warner/Hall case a few years ago when I was still
studying to be a teacher at Western, and was hired to help tutor the Warner
children. I need to share with you that, while working within the home, I
immediately noticed how demeaning and controlling Mr. Warner was toward his
wife. However, he assured me he was doing everything "for Kathy's
own good," so I tried to ignore the matter. But as time passed, I
was witness to Mr. Warner's extreme mood swings, angry outbursts, and
unrealistic expectations towards his wife. It is not my intent to
criticize Marty Warner, but I will tell you the bare essentials so you can get
a glimpse of the reality in which Ms. Hall and her chidlren had to live.
At the time I was hired, Kathy had been working for twenty years as a
full-time mother of eight kids, ranging from teenagers to a newborn, as well as
a full-time cook, housekeeper, and home-school teacher. Any one of these
jobs would have been a heavy load for one person alone to handle, yet Kathy was
an amazing mother and teacher who always showed compassion and love to her
family. While working with Mrs. Warner over the next few months, I found
her to be a positive, Godly woman of utmost integrity. I have never met
anyone so wise, loving gentle, hard-working, and giving. As is obvious, I
gained a deep respect and admiration for Kathy Warner, and came to think of her
as a dear
friend as well as a mentor and "mother" in the Lord. I now
have known her for almost four years, and I have absolutely nothing negative to
say about her sterling character. She is a beautiful, fragile treasure.
How tragic that such a sweet soul would be oppressed by an enraged husband
who only treated her with contempt. If the house, the children, or the
meals were not perfect, Marty would become violently angry with Kathy. I
became extremely uncomfortable working within the home as I witnessed the level
of fear both kathy and the children lived with every day. Although the
family scrambled to please Marty, their efforts were never good enough. He
was unable to be satisfied, and continued to bark out his commands to his own
family. I had to painfully watch Kathy literally beg him for a few
dollars she needed for the kids. I saw the children ignored by Mr. Warner
until they accidently did something "wrong" that he did not
like. He would violently spank them for the smallest of offenses. I
was shocked that someone who seemed so respectable could be so blantantly
wicked in his private life.
As you may be aware, Kathy finally gathered the courage to take her children
and fled her husband. She was considered a kidnapper, and was taken to
court. When I was asked to testify to Mr. Warner's controlling and
demeaning treatment towards Ms. Hall in court, I learend that Marty had been
violently abusing Kathy physicially, emotionally, and sexually for the last
twenty years. She had been continually raped and beaten, often to the
point of being hospitalized, by her "Christian" husband. She
was kept a prisoner in her own house, being allowed to see others only under
Marty's supervision and approval. Friends of the family only hope he did
not take his sexual aggressions out on his daughters in the same
way. Not believing in divorce, Kathy stayed as long as she could,
always trying to please Marty, in hopes that he would change. You may
choose to believe that such a pillar of the community as Mr. Warner could not
possibly be capable of such behavior, but I am a first-hand witness that he is
a smooth talker with much to hide in his private life. Being Mr. Warner's
pastor, it is crucial you are aware of who it is you're really dealing with.
Because Kathy had been living under such extreme emotional pressure in her
marriage, she had suffered from a nervous breakdown a few years before leaving
Marty. (It was during this time that, despite Kathy's catatonic state,
Marty raped her and she became pregnant with her eighth child). It was
this nervous breakdown that Marty used against Kathy in court. Marty had
always controlled all finances and, having a high-paying job, simply hired a
high-power attorney who claimed anyone having had a breakdown must be unfit to
care for children. Having been isolated from interaction with the real
world for the last twenty years, I think Kathy was made to appear niave,
confused, and weak. Can you imagine watching your cherished, innocent,
competent friend losing her children to an abusive rage-aholic? I could
go into many more gorey details, but my purpose is to warn you about Mr. Warner
attending your congregation, and to spur you to help.
For the last two years, Kathy has tried to move on with her life, but is
continually harassed by her former husband, as he swings wildly from vicious
threats to love poems in an effort to get her back under his control.
Marty knows the chldlren are Kathy's life, and she has to hear them cry as they
ask why "daddy said she didn't love them anymore." Nice guy,
huh? Yet Kathy is a better Christian than I, never uttering an unkind
word about her former husband, even when we are alone. Kathy somehow
manages to hold firm to her faith despite any circumstances, but despite her
Job-like faithfulness, Marty has been continually slapping lawsuit after
lawsuit against her in a sick attempt to break her once again. She is so
terrified of his obsessive behavior that she recently did what no mother should
ever feel she has to do to survive. To escape his constant harassment and
persecution once and for all, she was legally advised to cut off all her
court-given visitation rights to her children. She now feels completely
devastated, empty, and depressed, yet what else could she do to rid herself of
him? Fighting him costs money she doesn't have. Kathy even moved
out of state to get away from him, yet had to return for all his ridiculous
lawsuits.
Here is Marty's latest: Oregon took him to court to lower Kathy's
support payments, so he decided to
sue her for extra financial support for three children, all over eighteen,
and all living on their own, plus $500.00 extra per month for all the other
kids. Mr. Warner is a long-time wealthy engineer, and Ms. Hall is
considered to be unskilled and uneducated within the modern work force.
(What kind of job can you get after being locked away from the world in your
own house for the last twenty years? "Housewife"
doesn't tend to impress many employers.) Because of Marty's
relentless harassment through the court, she now has over $150,000 in attorney
fees, and recently has been too emotionally broken and traumatized by this man
to even hold a full-time job. She simply doesn't have the money. As
a teacher, I am the first person to want what's best for the chidlren, but this
is ridiculous. Kathy doesn't even have the funds to fight back, yet if
she loses, she could realistically face imprisonment. Anyway, we all know
the money is not what Marty is really after.
I don't like getting involved in other's people's business, but I feel
angry that Mr. Warner has been allowed to continue his sick, oppressive,
controlling, and appalling behavior towards Kathy Hall, and I want it to
stop. I fail to understand why he is not in prison and shunned by his
community. Even the court's psychological exam on Mr. Warner states in
black and white that he is clearly deceptive and dangerous. Yes most
can't seem to see past his slick, smooth talk and "Christianese."
Because Mr. Warner has been unresponsive to the numerous attempts from
friends and family to convince him to leave Ms. Hall alone, I am desperately
hoping that, as his spiritual head, he might possibly listen to you. I am
assuming you feel a responsibility as has pastor, and I am asking you to
prayerfully consider approaching him on this matter. I pray God will lead
you to speak to him immediately about his compulsive behavior and recommend
serious psychiatric help. I believe God is calling this matter into the
light, and you are seemingly the only person to whom Marty might listen.
I realize you have no reason to accept me as a person of integrity, so I
ask you to simply ask God to reveal the truth as you read this letter and
continue to observe Mr. Warner. I am not trying to play on your emotions,
but be careful; Marty fits every description of sociopathic behavior, meaning
he is extremely good at his disguise and can disarm your questions and concerns
with ease. I am not asking much. Please just try to get him to
leave this poor woman alone. He has everything, but won't quit until she
"pays" for escaping him. Help her. I love her, and I
can't see her slowly, painfully dying like this any more. Please take
courage and pray for them both. My cherished friend's life leterally
depends on it.
I am extremely concerned that Mr. Warner will harass me as he has done to
other court witnesses, so I need you to guard this letter and my identity from
Marty. I will be available at the number below through June 12, 1999, if
you wish to speak to me, but you must never allow anyone else to see it.
Thank you for your time, and for your attentiveness to this serious matter.
Sincerely,
Tashi Smith
(Pastor Ron Sutter, of Bridgeport Community Church in Monmouth, Oregon,
never responded to
Mrs. Tashi (Smith) Gremar. The pastors and elders of this church
supported Mr. Warner during the
time I had a restraining order against Mr. Warner and throughout the entire
court proceedings from
1995-1999.
Tashi (Smith) Gremar gave me permission to print her letter in BONSHEA.